2024 Ins and Outs
ins
pink
physical books
studying italian + french
practicing spanish with anyone i meet
budgeting
window shopping
always carrying a water bottle
only using reusuable bags
getting lost in the city
signature jewelry
writing everyday
long oversized cardigans
five second rule
outs
situationships
$30 ubers
being late
uber eats
compulsive shopping
klarna, afterpay, affirm
maxing out credit cards
interrupting others
ignoring strangers asking for directions
not knowing how to use a map
coke zero addiction
while beginning this year i think we all go through a period reflection. we evaluate what doesn't work and we make plans to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling. in the last year i've realize that compulsive spending, shopping like crazy, and being closed off and quiet was detrimental to my mental and emotional health. fashion is what i love, exploring my personal style is what i love, but this can be done with out spending hundreds of dollars and putting myself in credit card debt. this can be done without buy now, pay later scams and elaborate schemes to get a designer wardrobe. i think so many people without realizing it build their own distinct styles. i think looking at my own pictures, brands i shop at, and most importantly the pinterest board I've been cultivating since i was 12 allowed me to come up with a cohesive theme/concept for how i dress.
most style people will try to keep it to three words. three words to describe the method that goes into choosing ones on personal style. three words to describe the entire experience and expression unique to us all. off the top of my head i would describe mine with four c's "coastal, classic, coquette, cowgirl"! my wardrobe and my bedroom are an explosion of pink, denim, and about a million black purses. i grew up in florida, going between central and south florida constantly. my second home is the beach. i truly don't believe there's a place on earth i love more than the beach. the coastal, summer, airiness just seeps into all aspects of my style. flirty skirts, denim on denim, cowboy boots, linen outfits, neutrals, black on black, mixed metals, mini dresses, halter tops, cardigans, white sneakers, ballet flats, and chunky knits.
even though i love shopping, my wardrobe feels complete. my closet between cities holds more than enough of me and who i want to present to the world. my focus this year is to buy more natural fibers, but not to get rid of my wardrobe entirely. my focus this year is upgrading my underwear. by december 31st, 2024 i want to only own 100% cotton underwear and bras. i want to only wear the most natural fibers on the closest layer of my skin.
this is a journey though of knowledge. not of only being a consumer of fashion and trends, but of understanding the industry better and of understanding sustainability better. my pursuit this year is expansion of my personal experience and mind. along with this i am focusing this year on learning italian and french. i work with amazing diverse groups of people and some of them so happen to speak french giving me the perfect place to practice my skills. they’re kind people who may laugh at my pronunciation, but help me to strings the words along.
where better to learn than with experts! not just people who teach the language, but with people who live the language. all these different things that make up parts of us are so important and the way that we foster community is by connecting on our differences. i want to learn about their worlds, learn about how french is spoken in morocco and in canada and how the regions shaped and conformed the languages to better fit them. it’s one of the things that i love about spanish. i love that there’s a hundred words for nearly everything. that i have to say straw four different ways depending on what country the person im speaking to is from. i love how different miami is from boston. how the people who immigrated here are different to the people who immigrated to miami.
my focus this year is practicing being a whole person. you can’t be the perfect version without practicing for her. i’ve heard tiktok user @ceciliaregina275 talk about this phenomenon in her critiques of mr. big and his modelizing and rakish ways. while the focus was on him and not being able to be the doting upper class man he wanted to be because he was out of practice this resonated deeply with me. how can i jump out of my comfort zones and become the elevated version of myself if i don’t practice being her. i cannot become peak alz, by sticking to current alz tendencies and habits. my goal this year is to push my self out of my head. to fail and embrace the awkward.
so maybe my spanish isn’t perfect and i don’t know how to read a map, but how will i ever learn spanish or my way around the city if i don’t mispronounce words or get lost. the only way to become fluent is to fuck up the words, figure out the right way, and say it a million times over and over. to not just practice who i want to become, but to embody her. to embrace elevation. to embrace a great plane of existence and knowledge and love.
the only way to be a writer is to do it consistently. to write when i don’t feel like it. to devour the words of the greats that came before me and forge my own lane in the wide world of words. whether it be in my not so perfect poetry, my lengthy essays, or my rough rough drafts.
five seconds is all i’m giving myself this year. five seconds to take a deep breath and then go forth into the world. five seconds to collect myself before i get out of bed. five seconds before i go after everything i’ve ever wanted and stop denying myself the pleasure of success.
“As long as we are fortunate enough to be breathing, we will breathe through, breathe deep and breathe out.” - Taylor Swift
